Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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