her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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