Already got asked if we're dating
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I will be naked everywhere
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
