i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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