i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I'm really busy with my period
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