awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
