I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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