U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
True college students do jello shots in the library
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
