i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
too bad you live with your parents still
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
