This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
