Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
