Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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