I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
