I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
