So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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