are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
