I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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