she woke up with a sticky ear
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
