She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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