Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
