What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
