if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
