This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
