Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
