I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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