Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
