I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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