You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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