ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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