16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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