he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
