My girlfriend figured out who you are.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
