I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
