I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
