is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
