you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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