You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My breasts were aching with rage.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
