I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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