There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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