pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
