I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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