I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
