I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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