i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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