i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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