SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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