So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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