Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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