found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
