he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
