If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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