he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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