too bad you live with your parents still
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm both gender and math confused
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
