i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Boobs speak an international language.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
