what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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