That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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