Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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