You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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