I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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