Someone shit on the floor
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
