i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize