Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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