so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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