Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I've blown a few things in my day
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
