I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
