His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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