Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
