Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
