K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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