love makes seman taste better
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
