ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
