I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You were trust falling into bushes
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
