So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
