Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
