i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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