I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
