i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
