I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
