so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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