Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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