I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
